The ills of social media and the irony. #theanxiousgeneration

I am channelling my inner Alanis Morissette when I say, “Isn’t it ironic”. I know I might have just pinpointed my generation, but this resonates with me more than ever.  I am embarking on my marketing plan for my coaching practice, and although I would love to be old school and find clients by networking and word of mouth, I realize this isn’t realistic and certainly not part of current marketing practices. I have commenced on my social media strategy, and down the rabbit hole of #hashtags, the importance of online engagement with others, and the strategies behind meta. I must create a brand, and a need; curating constantly, following the right people, creating an image for the people I hope to attract. Everything that causes me anxiety. I have been on Facebook and Instagram since inception and can count on my two hands (and perhaps my two feet) the posts I have made. I feel safer behind the scenes where no one needs to like my pictures or posts. I have found community online, and been exposed to some great thought leaders, and creators. I love cute animal reels, delicious food, self-awareness, and hate that the algorithm knows this.

After much contemplation about all of this, I took the leap. And this is the ironic part. My post was about BC schools transitioning to phone free classrooms. Kids safety, mental health, creating an environment of focus and learning, and student engagement with one another, are many things this initiative will address. In all the research, social media is the culprit to an anxious generation #theanxiousgeneration.  It has replaced much of the important lessons learnt by free play, hanging out with friends, and experiencing the world around. Being social and together is a way to feel a dopamine hit, one that drives connection and community, and all the health benefits that come alongside. One of the many downsides of social media is that it drives disconnection and loneliness, not having the person-to-person connection we all instinctually crave and is primitively a part of our basic needs. 

Cue the Alanis song, “It’s some good advice, that you just can’t take”.  To guide parents and caretakers about the dark side of social media and smart phones, I must use these dark agents to do my work. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

So back to my new marking strategy, I posted and got my first like and comment – dopamine hit- second like, third like- hit, hit- and then silence.  I was anxiously awaiting all the likes and shares and comments of my very first post but after the first few, it was over. But that didn’t stop my quest for a quick dopamine hit. Checking my phone, nothing, and repeating a gazillion times. This behaviour went well into my evening, past the time I normally work, or I put my phone away (8pm).  Why 8pm? I know you should rest your brain from screens at least 2 hours before you plan to sleep. I want to emphasize that I KNOW what best practice is. I was acting out of my norm, but I was so curious.  Do I have any new followers?  By 10pm, I had a serious talk with myself to get a grip and I put my phone down. All that extra stimulus and mindless (my judgement, sorry) brain activity made it very hard to fall asleep with all the blue light exposure and not giving my brain any downtime before bed. Waking up at the dreaded 3am, my brain went into hamster wheel mode, and I had a thought -I’ll write about this. I need social media for my business, but here I am warning kids and families about the ills of social media, and time spent on smart phones.  So much research pointing at all the harm imposed on our youth especially those born after 2010.  AND, after a day promoting my company on socials, I fell right into the dopamine trap. AND I AM A GROWN UP, a parent and educator and I know better! I get it, there is a reason kids spend hours upon hours on socials – it is highly addictive, and a great dopamine chase.

Alanis Morissette and her insightful lyrics were singing in my head, “Some good advice, that you just can’t take … isn’t it ironic”.  I need to feed the tiger that bites. But it can’t be all or nothing. Feed the tiger, lose a hand. We need to hold the duality- we don’t have to lose our hand. Dopamine is a powerful tool – and the metaverse has us dialed in.  So how do we navigate technology and keep ourselves and our youth safe?  What do healthy boundaries around technology look like?  How do we get our kids on board? How do I create healthy boundaries for myself, so I am acting out my values as a person, a mum and a member of my family?

How about we start by engaging in discussions and connecting with each other. Let's get curious about our own smartphone and social media use. Be open to new guidelines, and establish boundaries regarding technology and social media that suit your family values. There will be difficult conversations, there always is when creating new limits.  But the kids are worth it. We are all worth it.

#theanxiousgeneration #familiesflourishing #parentcoaching #kidsareworthit #alanismorissette #isntitironic